Don’t you hate losing?

Me, too. But we shouldn’t.

Losing often teaches more than winning. It separates the wheat from the chaff.

Winning builds confidence and makes us feel good.

Losing builds character – as trite as that may sound – and makes us more determined than ever to excel.

Bonding

As a young jock, I recall the games we lost and why more clearly than our wins.

You bond with your team after a loss in ways you don’t after wins. Losing streaks are times of testing and learning to be better than you were.

Tampa Bay lost 26 straight games in 1976 and 1977.

In 1988, the Baltimore Orioles started the season with 21 straight losses. A local broadcaster stayed on the air until they won.

All of us can be gracious in victory. Real winners can be gracious in losing.

What kids learn

Sports writer Rich Cohen has written a book about his experience as a kids’ hockey coach, “What Kids Can Learn From Losing.”

Rich writes that he relearned this truth as a member of the most pitied species, the hockey parent.

He served as coach, air horn blower, chant leader, heckler and postgame pep talker while his son ascended from Mite to Bantam, House League to travel.

In his 3rd season, his son’s team lost no more than 3 straight, won a gold medal at Lake Placid and made a run in the Connecticut State Championship. The kids became happy buffoons celebrating with pizza.

Rich noticed his son improved as a player but not much as a person. Losing weeded out the kids who were in it for glory. For that, you needed to lose.

The next year, his son’s team was not merely bad but picturesquely bad. They lost 40 of 50 games over 2 losing seasons. The longest losing streak ran 22 games.

Rich worried that losing might kill his son’s love of the game, that he’d become frustrated and even develop an inferiority complex.

What happened surprised him. As bad as it got, losing weeded out kids who couldn’t take it, leaving just the diehards on the team.

His son learned humility and, by accepting the prospect of losing, he remembered what it was that he loved about the game.

It wasn’t ribbons or trophies but speed, the sound of blades on ice, passing and shooting, physical contact, driving with friends and parents to and from games.

Losing separates diehards from “show ponies.” What really counts is who loves the game and will not quit.

As Chicago Bears safety Doug Plank once told Rich: “If you put on a tape and cannot tell from the way a player plays whether his team is ahead or behind — that’s who you want.”

Got a memory to share about winning or losing? Email the Sports Grouch at ChronicleSports@yahoo.com .