The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the instructions, he gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.

The old-timer came over threw the directions away, and in a short time had the set completely assembled.

“It’s beyond me,” said the father “how you got it together without even reading the instructions.”

“To tell the truth,” replied the old-time; “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think”

A bachelor kept a cat for companionship and loved his cat more than life. He was planning a trip to England and entrusted the cat to his brother’s care.

As soon as he arrived in England, he called his brother. “How is my cat?” he asked.

“Your cat is dead,” came the reply.

“Oh, my,” he exclaimed. “Did you have to tell me that way?”

“How else can I tell you your cat’s dead?”

“You should have led me up to it gradually,” said the bachelor. “For example, when I call tonight you could have told me my cat was on the roof, but the fire department is getting it down. When I called tomorrow night, you could have told me they dropped him and broke his back Then, when I called the 3rd night, you could have told me the surgeon did all he could but my cat passed away. That way it wouldn’t have been such a shock “By the way,” he continued, “how’s Mother?”

“Mother?” came the reply. “Oh, she’s up on the roof, but the fire department is getting her down.”

I’m going to put all my money into taxes. They’re