Advice to mothers: Unless you delibtately set aside a little time for regular relaxation, you will not be able to efficiently care for your family. Therefore, plan to relax a minimum of an hour and a half every 15 years. A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his fore-ma. “Is it true that you called him a liar?” “Yes, I did.” “Did you call him stupid?” “Yes.” “Slave driver?” “Yes.” “And did you call him an opinionated, bullheaded egomaniac?” “No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?”

Q. If a dog lost his tail, where would he get another one? A. At the retail store, naturally.

Internal Revenue man, eyeing a taxpayer’s expense claims: “Shall we go over his item by item, or would you prefer to chicken out right now?”

Beverly: A scientist says that what we eat we become. Melba: Oh, boy! Let’s order something rich.

Q. What type of person lives the longest? A. A rich relative.

A man and his wife were running to their seats after a movie intermission. In a voice of cercen, he asked a man at the end of a row, “Did I step on your toes on the way out?” “You certainly did,” responded the other angrily. “All right,” he said, turning to his wife. “This is our row.”

A flying rumor never has any trouble making a landing.

Ken: I slept like a log. Melba: Yes, I heard the sawmill.