Q: What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump. Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack? A: One! After that its not empty! Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton? A: A bellybutton! Q: What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? A: Depeche a la Mode. Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A: A barbercue Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog. Q: What do you call a condiment with a hit single? A: a must heard. Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat? A: A heavy discussion Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: It saw the salad dressing! Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? A: Tu-lips Q: What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney? A: You are too little to smoke! Q: What do you call a ghost’s mom and dad? A: Transparents Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: It let out a little wine! Q: What do you call the new girl at the bank? A: The Nutella! Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A: Dam! Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A: They don’t have the guts. Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Nacho Cheese Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? A: Dead ends! Q: Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? A: He got stuck in Orbit. Q: What did the penny say to the other penny? A: We make perfect cents. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams. Q: What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? A: Shakespeare. Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes. Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: You’re dyslexic Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills! Q: What do you call a funny mountain? A: hill-arious Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An umbrella. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: Because it held up a pair of pants! Q: Did you hear about the calendar thief? A: He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered. Q: What did one raindrop say to the other? A: Two’s company, three’s a cloud. Q: Why did the balloon burst? A: Because it saw a lolly pop. Q: Did you hear about the sick juggler? A: They say he couldn’t stop throwing up! Q: What kind of driver never gets a parking ticket? A: A screw driver. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places! Q: Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A: A barber. Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? A: Sherbet Q: What do you call a dentist in the army? A: A drill sergeant Q: What did the triangle say to the circle? A: You’re pointless! Q: Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie? A: It’s the one rated Arrrr! Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? A: Because the cow has the utter. Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of? A: Trouble Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: Flood lights!.