There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. Ten of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.” The blondes, all moved by the brunette’s speech, start clapping.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it’s mine.

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”

How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.

A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, “My neighbor’s house is on fire!” The operator asked, “Where are you?” The blonde answered, “At my house.” The operator replied, “No, I’m asking how do we get there?” The blonde said, “In a firetruck, duh!”

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Why did the blonde like lightning? She thought someone was taking a picture of her.

How do you get a one handed blonde down from a tree? Wave at her.

I knew a blonde who was so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, “I look fat,” and dies. The brunette says, ” I look skinny,” and dies. The blonde says, “I think…” and dies.

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were thinking about what they would do if they went to space. The redhead said, “I would adopt a martian.” The brunette said, “I would give Pluto some steroids.” The Blonde said, “I would go to the sun.” The redhead replied, “But you would burn up and die.” The blonde responded, “Not if I went at night.”

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”

Why can’t a blonde dial 911? She can’t find the eleven.

Why did the blonde put her iPad in a blender? Because she wanted to make apple juice.

Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator? She couldn’t find the “10” button.