In 2007, I found myself in a strange situation. I got a raise and 10 year service award from may agency.

I enjoyed my job. It was everything I thought I wanted.

Deep in my heart, I knew something was missing. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

Divorced and raising 3 boys on my own without a penny of child support, time and money were in short supply. My career and single motherhood were killing me.

For a short while I tried to convince myself life was fine. I should be satisfied with what I had. Perhaps I wanted too much, that in time something would change and I’d be happy again.

As you can imagine, I was wrong. Nothing changed.

I felt more unfulfilled and a sense of depression began to set in.

There’s a saying, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

At the time I had no clue what to do to change my situation. I had already talked with family and friends. Their advice was not useful.

“You just have to keep working because you need the money.” my mother said.

“Single parenting isn’t easy, so just keep trudging away.” said one co-worker.

This was not the advice I wanted. I needed inspiration, ideas and a new way of assess ing my situation. I really felt lost.

What I did was simple. I sat in a quiet place. Got very relaxed. I decided to view my problem through different eyes.

My parents’ view was one of concern for money and raising my boys.

My employer was happy with me and would probably want to keep me on board.

My ex-husband had taken no responsibility for our children and had it quite easy.

My boys needed a more involved father figure and a more rested mother.

What really concerned me was my own view. I was afraid of not knowing what to do and getting stuck in a situation that was not good for me.

When I stepped back to look at this list I noticed 2 things.

First, I was living my life based on what others expected of me.

Second, everyone seemed happy with the way my life was going along but me.

What did I do? I asked myself, “What do I need to feel fulfilled?”

It’s a simple question. Many of us are afraid to answer it. I know I was.

We shouldn’t be. The Bible tells us, “Ask and you shall receive.”

Here’s a few things you can do.

1. Dream about what you need and want.

2. List your major concerns, and list how they could be solved.

3. Talk with a life coach, intuitive healer or mentor.

4. Decide on a solution and take action

I did these same exact steps and ended up with a cool solution.

I took a 6-month paid leave of absence.

My boys spent more time with their father.

I started teaching yoga classes regularly in the Caribbean.

I continued to plan for my writing career.

When I returned to work I had renewed energy for both the job and single motherhood.

Try it. It worked for me.