BEHIND THE MIKE

There is defeat in every victory… and victory in every defeat. Confusing? Not so much when you think it through.

My precious granddaughters, Ashley and Ava, now 12 and 10, have experienced their fair share of both in their short lives. Learning to deal with both is a roadmap to life and the reason why there is more to competitive sports than winning and losing… lots of life lessons.

They might be girls who are a head shorter than their peers but, make no mistake, they are as competitive as the next kid. Unfortunately for them, they inherited a couple of my characteristics—they hate losing and they are short in stature.

My mentor and coach J. W. Ingram used to say to me “You’re short but you’re slow. You run in one place too long.”

Another mentor of mine, Dr. J.S. Liver-man, the man who literally delivered me into this world, used to tell me “Boy… if you plant peas you get peas.” I guess I planted peas because every Aun that I have spawned is short and slow.

Last year their youth league basketball team suffered through a winless season. The only records they established were being the lowest scorers in the league. Yet, they took their plight in stride. They might have been the smallest in the group but they are among the brightest. As Clint Eastwood would say, “You have to know your limits”… and they know theirs.

This year’s team has enjoyed a much better time of it. They won all but a couple of their games and recently captured the league championship in a defensive nail-biter 11-10. And while my pride is swelling, evidenced by the hundreds of pictures I’ve taken of their plays, the pair has been modest and carefree, as is their nature.

After winning the championship, I could not help but wonder why they were not celebrating in an over-the-top way. It was almost a “workman-like” response of “it’s just another game.” Win or lose, their demeanor seemed the same.

In a day and time where every kid gets a trophy or a medal, Ava and Ashley seem to “get it.” Their father Cory has been a competitive athlete all his life. He coaches one of the top weightlifting programs in all of Florida. The girls have a front-row seat at his football games and weightlifting meets.

They understand competition and appreciate that there is significantly more defeat in life than victory. For every winning football team, there are an equal number of athletes on the other sideline that just suffered a loss.

For every championship weightlifter, there are dozens of runner-ups that will never experience the joy of victory. Welcome to life young ladies. When I say they “get it” that is what I mean.

Sometime we have to be awakened to the situation. In World War II, Japan woke us to the reality that we were vulnerable and our country responded by putting down those who would seize our freedom.

Okay… that is a huge leap from girl’s youth basketball to a World War. Make no mistake, the element of all competition is real. Ashley and Ava are winners, not whiners. When you are losing over and over again as they did last year, it is easy to become a whiner.

What the girls learned last year is they were born to win but had to learn to plan, prepare and expect to win. They had to learn the hard lesson that winning is about dreamers who never give up.

My late friend and speaking colleague Al McGuire and I were speaking in Maui at a conference in the late 70’s after his Marquette team won the NCAA National Championship. Al had an interesting philosophy. “Winning is overrated. The only time it really is important is in surgery and war.”

For some odd reason, as I was taking pictures of Ashley and Ava, who modestly and shyly accepted their trophies for their championship, it occurred to me… they get it. This is but another chapter of life.

Michael Aun is a contributing author to the series “Build a Better You Starting Now!”- Volume 26