the editor talks with you

Noodling around on the internet last week, I stumbled on an old Editor Talks With You piece. It appears on my friend Shel Horowitz’s web site, http://www.principledprofit.com.Shel is author of a number of books, among them a great one, “Principled Profits: Marketing That Puts People First.” It is a great concept and Golden Rule for building and sustaining friendships. Shel had titled my piece “What Kind of Eulogy Will YOU Get?” It is a great question few of us think much about until it may be too late to do much about it. Since I will teach an “Adventurous Aging” course at the Shepherd’s Center next month, you may be interested in what Shel thought good enough to put on his site.

Here is how it read: After our mother died, my sister and I asked her minister to hold a memorial service at her church on Sunday after the worship service. We were delighted by the friends, some generations younger, who crowded into the church chapel. What was even more inspiring were the memories they shared, telling of thoughtful things our mother had done. It made us wonder what our friends might say about us when we are gone.

Our friend Michael Aun received a call from his 92-year old high school football coach. Coach Ingram called to ask Michael to give the eulogy at his funeral. Coach Ingram is an articulate man who looks more like a college professor than a gridiron general. He had been one of the top high school football coaches in America. In 33 years of coaching, his Lexington High teams had won more than 220 games including three state championships. “Coach, are you about to die?” he asked. “No,” Coach Ingram responded, “but when I do, I want you to do my eulogy.” “There must be dozens of guys you coached over the years who went on to become priests, rabbis or ministers,” Michael said. “Why not choose one of them?” “I’ve outlived them all,” Coach Ingram said. “I’m down to motivational speakers, and you’re the only one I know.”

Michael not only played football for Coach Ingram but wrote about him as sports editor of our newspaper. Michael even won an award for his reporting on Ingram’s teams of overachievers. In Florida, Michael wrote a eulogy and mailed it to Coach Ingram in Lexington. Coach called to say he appreciated it but politely added that he wanted to hear it. Michael sat down, recorded it and dropped it in the mail. Several days later, Coach called him in tears. He said he could hardly wait for the real thing. You can read it at http://www.aunline.com/articles-ingram.htmThis made Michael think that he should be planning his own eulogy. What would you want someone to say about you and your accomplishments at your funeral?

In my writing classes, my students’ first assignment is to write their own obituaries. It’s a great exercise. Consider this:

1. What are my values in this life?

2. What could I achieve before it’s over?

3. What will I need to accomplish to make a difference to the people I love? It’s not too late to think about it.

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