As a child and teenager I loved to dream, write and explore. My parents were troubled by this.

“Why do you spend your time doing these things that don’t seem to be productive?” My mom would ask.

“If you keep your nose in those books you might get lost!” My father would joke.

For decades I felt conflicted. Like I wasn’t good enough to do things the others were doing. I was also hugely attached to books and never went anywhere without at least 2 or 3.

Because of this I thought at times maybe I was flawed.

I always had jobs that required writing, being creative and finding successful ways to handle new or difficult situations. This is what fueled my passion and creativity.

My family had a difficult time accepting the fact I worked as an investigator.

I went into scary and dangerous places.

Even when I tried to do jobs that were less risky, the topics were emotionally charged and left me open to criticism.

I wrote and created programs for teenage mothers who had no family support. I recommended therapies for sexual offenders and victims of domestic violence.

My expertise seemed to be helping people in seemingly impossible situations find a way through.

Fast forward to my mid 30’s. I was in a women’s support group. “Who is your favorite historical person MaryJo” asked the leader.

“Oh that’s easy. Christopher Columbus!” I responded.

The rest is history.

Exploring that question helped me accept who I truly am: an explorer. I use my knowledge to help others navigate their lives. I do it by using the skills that I do best: Writing, dreaming, traveling and teaching.

Let’s look at how you can accept who you really are.

1. Make a list of what you’re really good at and why. Focus on the feelings you get while doing these things. Just sit with this. Write down your insights.

2. Know that family is not always the best place to look for support. This is because they worry about you. We are wired for approval. To meet this need, find a support group or trusted friend you can share with.

3. Let go of emotional baggage. For me this included the idea that I was somehow not good enough based on things I carried with me from childhood. Once I looked at my true gifts and the things I did better than everyone else, it was easier to release emotional stuff blocking me.

Here’s something for you to do this month. Choose 1 or 2 historical figures. Think about why you like them. Make a list. The sooner you realize your similarities you will not be able to deny who you really are even if you tried your hardest.

Have a topic you’d like me to write about? Email me at maryjobriggsaustin@ gmail .com .

Next month: Live life on your own terms