If you don’t feel a little frustrated with the hand life has dealt you … you might not be paying attention.

When you arrive at total frustration, make sure the decisions you make are based on a foundation of truth.

As the old saying goes, you are entitled to your own opinion, not your own facts.

The other side of that coin is you can have your own facts, but others do not necessarily have to agree or even understand from where you are coming.

I read recently an observation from www.workingwomen.com and found an interesting synopsis on frustration.

“Dealing With Frustration: Isolate the problem. Reflect on why you are getting so upset. Breathe deeply and tell yourself, ‘This will ultimately work out.’”

Frustration generally precedes achievement. Achievement is measurable because it focusses on outcomes and not obstacles.

Too often we only see the pothole and not the path around it. Expectations mother most of the frustrations that exist in life but are not a method of proof.

The anger people feel today is borne out of hurt, frustration and fear. My grandfather used to tell me “Fear is nothing but an absence of knowledge.”

If nothing else, the frustration everyone feels today has its basis in fear. What appears missing is the dignity to disagree. With expectation feeding frustration, one or all sides can and will feel a lack of control.

If you have ever been a parent, you already know you will never please all your kids all the time. Welcome to life. It is always getting in the way. Every parent knows that 2 children can look at the exact same thing and see the outcome totally differently. Having been the king of screw-ups in life, I can personally testify that behind the anger there is generally frustration. When tears follow, that too is a result of frustration. The solutions: Be a better listener. Get the other side of the story before declaring you are right or wrong.

It can also help you arrive at a better decision. Most of us are always bet ter at expressing our wrath than explaining it.

Conclusion: I wanted to win an argument, and did not seek a solution. Sooner or later fatigue kicks in and we compromise our standards. That leads to poor decisions at best and resentment at worst. Or, you can simply expect nothing, and you will never be disappointed.

Why not just paste a piece of paper to a concrete wall, draw a circle and write the words BANG YOUR HEAD HERE?

What will ultimately happen?

• You will conclude you are wrong or

• You will become unconscious.

Do it long enough and you will conclude that you are now clearly an accomplice to your own demise.

If you believe in a higher authority, you may conclude that God is aware of the lingering storm. Be grateful not ticked off.\

Frustration is discouragement and depression taking you down. Do not let that happen. Come to your senses. That is the moment when your anger turns into tears. Do not fret; it could be your salvation from yourself. Your emotion may be poison to your soul and more importantly your goal. Buddha may have expressed it best: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I have twin sons and twin grandsons by my third son, Christopher. If I have learned nothing more from a lifetime with them, laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. Frustrated? Take a nap. There is less cleaning up to do.

Michael Aun, CSP®, CPAE® is a syndicated columnist in 1,500+ publications in 41 countries.