What ship is ruled by women? A courtship, of course!

Dating in the old days was a bit complicated and was often a family affair with parents doing the matchmaking.

Young women often didn’t meet their future spouses until after the marriage arrangements.

Aristocracy courtship was a brokered deal to increase a family’s power, wealth or status.

These arrangements could be a bit weird. Henry VIII betrothed his 6-year-old daughter, Mary Tudor, to her cousin, 22-year-old Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.

This arraignment was eventually annulled, and at age 37 she chose Phillip II of Spain.

Conduct for Christian Women by Juan Luis Vives in 1557 advised, “When it comes to choosing a husband, maidens should keep quiet, and leave these decisions to their parents: [sic] ‘it becometh not a maide to talke, where hir father and mother be in communicacion about hir mariage.’ But parents should take their duties seriously, preferring ‘Good and wise’ husbands over the ‘Faire’, ‘riche’ or ‘noble.’”

Strange traditions

“Bundling” was a courting trend in the 1700’s in Europe. The Welsh and Scots brought it to the Colonies.

Bundling was the brilliant idea to let 2 teenagers share a bed with a makeshift “chastity device” tied around the lower half of girl’s body and a board separating the pair.

The idea was for the couple to know each other in a safe and chaste way.

This method of courtship failed miserably.

Atlasobscura.com says, “pregnancies following bundling weren’t unheard of, and 1 in 10 of every first child born in colonial America was born 8 months after marriage.” Whoops!

Dating advice was even found in the newspapers.

In a Bamberg Herald 1906 article, Reverend Bernet believed that 52 hours is long enough to enable a young man and woman to determine that they are sufficiently in love to marry.

He suggested 52 hours be spread out over 6 months, no more than 2 hours a day and only between 8-10 pm.

Rev Bernet also cautioned all single ladies “to not form acquaintances on the street without proper introductions and be careful of their conduct toward young men.”

Friendly advice

The Anderson Intelligencer in 1894 published Uncle Gilbert’s courting advice.

Gilbert counsels young men to “prove a gal before offering her his hand.”

“If the gal gives a man a good answer to his question then she is in her right mind. If she can look him square in the face when she talks to him, she can be trusted. If her patches are sewed on straight, then she will keep your house straight and yer britches mended. Such a woman is worth having.”

He suggested this pick-up line: “My dear miss, have you any objections to my drawing right here to yer side and revoling de wheel of my conversation ‘round de axle of your understandin’?”

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. In 1878, Newt Hogg from Newberry found his future wife, Miss Susie Elizabeth Sophia Berry Darby, at a “box supper.”

Ladies put baked cakes and delicacies and in pretty decorated boxes. After several rounds of “dancing and courting’” the ladies would invite a guy of their choice to share the contents of her beautiful box.

Susie liked Newt, and Newt loved those baked goods. It was a match made in heaven’s kitchen.

Old school Tinder

Finding that particular person can be difficult. A handsome young man put this ad in the newspaper in Aroostook Maine, 1865.

“I am eighteen years old, have a good set of teeth, and believe in Andy Johnson, the Star-Spangled Banner, and the 4th of July. I have taken up a State lot, cleared up eighteen acres last year, and seeded ten of it down.

“My buckwheat looks first rate, and the oats and potatoes are bully. I have got nine sheep, a two year old bull, and two heifers, besides a house and a barn.

“I want to get married. I want to buy bread and butter, hoop skirts, and waterfalls for some person of the female persuasion during life. That’s what’s the matter with me. But I don’t know how to do it.”

Today’s dating trends are vastly different.

Texting seems to have taken over real conversations, and social media is the norm.

Bring back chivalrous knights and real romance.

Looking at the trends day, I’m not so sure arranged marriages are a bad thing!