Almost 20 years ago I spent time in a clinic for bulimia.

We had different sorts of therapy and experiential activities.

When I got out I realized something. Most sessions were designed to teach us to set boundaries.

Without healthy boundaries I felt powerless and struggled to achieve my goals.

I want to share with you how boundaries can build self-confidence and in turn help you achieve your goals.

If there’s 1 element in life that can increase self-confidence naturally it is the ability to set boundaries in relationships. Boundaries are the imaginary lines that we put in place to protect our minds, emotions and bodies. They keep us from being manipulated or controlled by others and help us enjoy our lives more.

Personal boundaries enable us to take control of our own lives and build healthy relationships with others. Without them, it’s unlikely that you will live a happy life, because you’re sacrificing parts of yourself to please others.

Weak or no personal boundaries can chip away at your self confidence because you feel helpless to speak up and do something about the situations and relationships you’ve gotten yourself into.

Your personal boundaries are weak if you:

• Can’t say “No.” We sometimes get trapped in situations we don’t want to be in simply because we want to be accepted or because we feel obligated.

• Take on too much responsibility. In order to be thought of as important or useful, we sometimes take on responsibilities that become a drain on our time and energy.

• Accommodate others too much. When we let our own responsibilities go so that we can take care of others’ needs, we may begin to feel resentful.

Weak or non-existent personal boundaries chip away at self-respect and make it difficult to achieve goals.

When we begin to set boundaries we start to achieve our goals and end feeling resentful. We gain self-respect and respect from others. This is because most people admire strength and determination. Taking care of our own needs first can foster that admiration.

Setting boundaries at first might feel unnatural or even selfish. Sometimes we even worry about losing a relationship in the process. As we continue to develop and live with boundaries we feel even more empowered.

This is a win win situation for everyone involved.

Do you have a situation you’d like to share around setting boundaries? A struggle or even a success story? Email me at maryjobriggsaustin@gmail. com .