Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring? A: Pilgrims!

Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Q: Why isn’t the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? A: Because he’s already stuffed!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? A: Missiltoe!

Q: What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? A: Frostbite

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic.

Q: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? A: Because of his coffin.

Q: What’s a turkey’s favorite song? A: “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”

Q: What is a taxidermist’s favorite part of Thanksgiving? A: The stuffing.

Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? A: It gets toad away.

A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

Q: Why was six scared of seven? A: Because seven “ate” nine.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: It’s okay. He woke up.

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Q: How do astronomers organize a party? A: They planet.

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA? A: Do these genes make my butt look fat.