Best Quiz of All Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? A: With cabbage patches! Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? A: He couldn’t concentrate! Q: Can I tell you a joke about paper. A: Nah, never mind, its tearable. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato? A: Tomato Paste! Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his parents were in a jam! Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty! Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A: A deviled egg! Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey! Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A: He felt crummy! Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? A: She couldn’t control her pupils! Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A: A private tutor. Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? A: Bare-foot. Q: What can you serve but never eat? A: A volleyball. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? A: Sneakers. Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? A: So he could tie the score. Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? A: They both depend on the batter. Q: What did the alien say to the garden? A: Take me to your weeder. Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat? A: A heavy discussion. Q: Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? A: They got married in the spring. Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe. Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I better not tell you, it might spread. Q: How do baseball players stay cool? A: They sit next to their fans. Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems. Q: What runs but doesn’t get anywhere? A: A refrigerator. Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer? A: The Space bar! Q: Why was the robot mad? A: People kept pushing its buttons. Q: What exam do young witches have to pass? A: A spell-ing test! Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A: A cloud! Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake! Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport? A: Because you dribble on the floor! Q: How do you communicate with a fish? A: Drop him a line! Q: What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? A: Look grandpa no hands! Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts? A: To the Baa Baa shop! Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? A: Jellyfish! Q: What do cats eat for breakfast? A: Mice Crispies! Q: Why can’t a leopard hide? A: Because he’s always spotted! Q: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A: A sour puss! Q: What kind of flower doesn’t sleep at night? A: The Day-zzz Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: Its easier than walking! Q: What kind of key opens a banana? A: A monkey! Q: Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people’s arms off? A: It was a vicious cycle. Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? Q: Why does a hummingbird hum? A: It doesn’t know the words! Q: What did one plate say to the other? A: Dinners on me Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? A: Because they dropped out of school! Q: What goes up and down but doesn’t move? A: The temperature! Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? A: Neither, they both weigh a ton! Q: What has one horn and gives milk A: A milk truck. Q: Where do bulls get their messages? A: On a bull-etin board. Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping? A: They CHARGE! Q: What do you call a house that likes food? A: a Condoment! Q: What runs but can’t walk? A: The faucet! Q: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A: A water bed! Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? A: Firecrackers! Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: Because he took a short cut. Q: Where do boats go when they get sick? A: The dock Q: What do you call leftover aliens? A: Extra Terrestrials. Q: What’s taken before you get it? A: Your picture. Q: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup! Q: What concert costs 45 cents? A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback. Q: Can February March? A: No. But April May. Q: Did you hear about the injured vegetable? A: Some say he got beet. Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist? A: To get a root canal. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar? A: It has more dates.