The latest study of men’s sleeping habits found that 5 percent of men wake up at night to pee, 8 percent get up to search the fridge and 60 percent get up to return home.

Triplets were born. Doctors are fighting for the father’s life.

Only 1% of people read the care label instructions to learn how to wash clothes and take care of them. The remaining 99% of people determine by the label where the front or back is.

One evening a man was drinking at the local bar. He was ordering the drinks, but before every drink he would take a picture out of his wallet and look at it for a moment. “Old girlfriend?” the barman asked curiously? “No,” the man replied. Here is a picture of my mother-in-law. I know I’ve drunk too much if she starts to look attractive to me.

Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m. since they need to be home by 11 p.m.

Man should always have the last word in the family and it should sound like “Yes, dear...”

During the war in Afghanistan, the soldiers of the Soviet Union are in a gunfight against Afghan rebels. A voice from the Russian trench shouts: - Ali! - Me! - yells an Arab and stands up from the trench. Russians shoot, straight to Alli’s head. Again the Russian voice: - Ahmed! - Me! – another Arab stands up. A shot again. One more Arab is dead. The rebels sudden realize the Russian tactics and try to use it themselves: - Ivan! Dead silence. - Ivan! - once again shouted an Arab. Still silence… After a while a Russian shouts: - Who’s been calling Ivan? - Me!

Two new friends are talking. - Were you funny when you were a child? - You’re kidding, I am an accountant.

Bookstore customer asks the seller: I am looking for the book “Men - the stronger sex.” Seller: Please look for it in the fiction section.

A successful man is the one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who can find such a man.

The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: - You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. - But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half do not.

A journalist asks the head of a growing company: - So how many employees are working in your company? - Approximately half of them...

A boss tells his employee: - You are fired. You have been sleeping during working hours. - But boss, I’m not the only one who did this. - That’s right, but you were the only one who slept with my wife.

The Great Wall is among 7 wonders of the world because it is the only Chinese product which lasted for more than 4 weeks.

Greek office worker during economic crisis complains to her friend: - When will this economy crisis end? It’s been so horrific - my boss wants us to do as much as three people would do. Thank God there are five of us.

What is the most popular fiction book among businessmen? - Report to State Tax Inspector.

During the economy crisis in Greece, two local businessmen chat: - Do you pay your employees? - Nope, haven’t paid them for months. - But they still come to work, don’t they? - Yes, they do. - Mine come too. We should try charging them for coming. After a month they meet again: - So, did anything change after you charged your employees for coming to work? Are they still coming? - Yes, but they are trying to save money!! - ??? - They come on Monday and leave on Friday only!

- Yesterday I have bought an energy saving bulb in your shop, returned home, but it does not work. - It should not, that’s why saves energy.

In a job interview, the applicant was asked, “Why did you leave your last job?” “The company relocated and didn’t tell me where...”

There are two types of guests: the ones who want to stay longer, and the ones who want to go home ASAP. Strangely enough, these two types are normally found in married couples.

Q: Why do Clemson University grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at USC? A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the College of Charleston campus? A: A visitor.

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