Q: What did the neck tie say to the hat?

A: You go on ahead and I’ll hang around!

Q: Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer?

A: All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?

A: A trum-pet!

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping?

A: The kid woke up.

Q: Why is a calendar different from you?

A: a calendar has dates.

Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

A: Bugs Bunny!

Q: What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon?

A: Bridge over troubled water.

Q: What word looks the same backwards and upside down?

A: Swims

Q: Why did the manager hire the marsupial?

A: Because he was highly koala-fied.

Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

A: Tentacles.