At the Big Dogs Association convention, I heard some people jokes.

Men think a girl’s dream is to find the perfect man. No. Girl’s dream of eating anything and not getting fat.

The way I look at it, if the children are still alive when my husband gets home from work, I’ve done my job.

Dolphins are so smart, that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train grown people to stand on the edge of the pool and throw fish to them.

A man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in him and his wife remembering the same thing!

Why is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of them to start a campfire?

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

Sometimes I’ll check my watch 3 times... and still not know what time it is.

You’re old if your pacemaker opens garage doors. I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going.

A salesman rang a doorbell and the door was answered by a small boy with a lighted cigar in one hand and a glass of whisky in the other. The salesman asked, “Hello there. sonny. Is your Mom or Dad home?”

The boy grinned and said,“What do you think?”

I pointed to 2 old drunks across the bar and said, “That’s us in 10 years.”·

My friend said, “Dummy, that’s a mirror!”

We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller

Long ago, men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today tt’s called golf.

Got a joke?

Please send it to my editor at JerryBellune@yahoo.com