My friend John Parrish sent these knee-slappers from church bulletins and announcements to make your day and mine.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

The 8th-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:”I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours .”

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

Thanks, John Wayne.

I may be only a little cairn terrier but I appreciate jokes from all our readers. And if you don’t want me to reveal your name, I won’t.

The reader who sent us these blonde jokes didn’t want his name revealed. He says his wife is a bottle blonde and has a thin skin. To keep peace in the family, he will remain nameless.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted!

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What’s five miles long and has an IQ of 40?

A blonde parade.

Why did the blonde put water on her computer?

To wash the Windows.

What do you say to a blonde who won’t come home with you?

“Have another beer.”

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?

Tell her the joke on Wednesday.

More jokes next week.