Mental Health Matters: Life balance, Part 2

In “Life balance, Part 1,” I shared with you some thoughts about the challenges of maintaining a balance when life becomes hectic and overwhelming. This week, I will circle back around to looking at an important strategy to help achieve a balance, as well as the benefits of keeping that balance!

Strategies for achieving work-life balance

I share this with the caveat and recognition that keeping balance can be particularly challenging once we are in that place of being overwhelmed. I, too, must work at implementing these ideas, so I am under no illusion that these ideas are a quick fix to the problem. In some ways, I think about these as practices. I have to practice these ideas like I would need to practice playing the piano to become proficient as a pianist!

The idea of boundaries has become quite popular in social media and popular culture; however, it is far easier to post a meme about boundaries than it is to learn about what they are and how to implement them. What exactly is a boundary in the social sense of the word? I encourage you to think about a fence around your yard. A fence is a type of safety mechanism. The saying, “good fences make good neighbors,” has some real application here. A good fence also makes for good relationships of any kind!

Prioritizing self-care is critically important. This is going to look very different for each of us. If I have a problem with eating everything under the sun, trying out a balanced diet and exercise may be a good self-care option. On the other hand, if I am super strict about everything I eat, it may be that having a delicious piece of chocolate cake once a week is a delightful action of self-care as well. If I am overcommitted at work, it may be that I need to take some time off to rejuvenate myself. Then again, if I am lonely and isolated, it may be a good idea to start building in some exploration of interest groups I could join. Perhaps there is a meetup for kayakers that I want to try out, or maybe try out a church I am curious about. Again, self-care is going to look different for each of us since all of us and our circumstances are so individualized!

Another way to work towards balance in life is to manage our time effectively. I don’t know how much time you can spend scrolling on your phone, but I will be honest and tell you that there are days when I can get LOST on a game, or go down multiple digital rabbit holes before I realize I have just consumed several hours of my time doing things other than what I had planned. At the end of the day, I feel dissatisfied with my lack of accomplishments! If I leave myself a half hour at the end of my workday to indulge in a game or two, with a timer on, I have far fewer regrets before I lay my head down at night.

Seeking support is so important when we are trying to make a lifestyle change. Making changes is hard work, and going it alone is often a recipe for keeping things the same. If I want to make a significant change in my life, I try to pick at least one person to share my plan with. That way, when my focus is lost or my determination is weak, I can reach out to that person for support and understanding. We typically seek what we know, and falling back into the same habits is so much more comfortable than venturing out into new territory.

If you have not already gotten on the meditation bandwagon, you might consider it as a helpful tool in regaining your life balance. Practicing mindfulness can be a wonderful skill that can help us recenter when we veer off track or lose sight of our goal of balance. You do not have to contort yourself like a yogi or strain your back and hips sitting on the floor, although you certainly can work in that direction if you are so inclined. Some simple ideas include practicing some deep breathing while stopped at a red light or working on closing your eyes for just a few minutes to take a pause from all of the stimulation we are surrounded by daily.

A very powerful practice that can help bring balance to our lives is the practice of gratitude. That’s right, I am talking about practicing gratitude. This can be a very simple practice, such as being thankful for five things each morning before your feet hit the floor once you wake up. Or, if you share family meals each night, practice going around the table sharing one or two things you find yourself thankful for that day. At one point in time, my kids and I included sharing our concerns, which also gave each of us an idea of the burdens of worry we were each carrying, and we could check in with and support each other with the weight that life can sometimes throw at us. This now looks different since my kids have grown and we do not share meals on a daily basis, but it did start our family practice of checking in with one another and supporting our loved ones.

Communicating openly with those you work, live and love is foundational to life balance. If others do not know what we need or what is important to us, it is far less likely that they can support us in our life goals. Sometimes we may need to negotiate with our family to find the time to balance our lives. “I really need to go for a walk each day. Can you make dinner while I walk, and I will clean up after dinner?” This also opens the door for our loved ones to share their needs and goals with us as well. A well-balanced family requires that we find ways to meet everyone’s needs. There must be room for each family member to both need and have needs met.

Finally, if you have the flexibility to do so, look for flexible work arrangements. Employers are increasingly seeking ways to keep good employees, and sometimes that includes flexible work hours, job sharing or working remotely for part of each week. Not all careers lend themselves to these ideas. And if that is the case for you presently, keep these ideas in mind if and when you look for your next job. Since the pandemic, there has been a huge shift in our ideas of how work should be done, and chances for this flexibility are better now than it has ever been.

I have covered these strategies rather briefly, so if you want to hear more about any of these ideas, please do not hesitate to reach out to me, as I am happy to take a deeper dive on any of these in a future column!

Have questions you’d like to ask Shirley? Message her at oasistherapyservices@gmail.com.