By Scoop Bellune

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? A: Sunday, of course! Q: Which is the building is the largest? A: The library because it has the most stories. Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog? A: Toad. Q: What bow can’t be tied? A: A rainbow! Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A: A Yamahahaha Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: Spring time. Q: Where did the computer go to dance? A: To a disc-o. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”. Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: To get a tweetment. Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn’t control her pupils? Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A: A Clausterphobic Q: What three candies can you find in every school? A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head! Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America? A: USB Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a boogie in it. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? A: Because he had no-body to go with. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path. Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake? A: He just flipped. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones. Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef Jerky. Q: Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? A: It never came out. Q: What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A: A Gummy Bear Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? A: 2 Fast 2 Curious Q: Did you hear about the hairdresser? A: She dyed. Q: What do you call a musician with problems? A: a trebled man. Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? A: He pasta way. Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? A: In snow banks. Q: What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks? A: a Roman Catholic Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? A: He pulled a muscle Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective? A: He got to the root of every case. Q: Why can’t you take a nap during a race? A: Because if you snooze, you loose! Q: What did the tie say to the hat? A: You go on ahead and I’ll hang around Q: What washes up on very small beaches? A: Microwaves! Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? A: the Telephone. Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move? A: The road! Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? A: He was lucky it was a soft drink. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A: The scientists were brainstorming! Q: What did Delaware? A: a New Jersey Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? A: Because he couldn’t find a date! Q: What do you call purple when it is being mean? A: Violent. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A: Hi Cliff! Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That›s just how I roll. Q: Did you hear the one about the geologist? A: He took his wife for granite so she left him Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? A: Show me the honey! Q: What did the man say to the wall? A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya! Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? A: Cool Music Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck! Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I’m coming down with something! Q: What do you call a window that raps? A: 2PANEZ Q: What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? A: The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a foot! Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck! Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A: Post Office! Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A: A waist of time Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed? A: To draw the curtains! Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A: a loose Canon Q: What do you call a frozen dog? A: A pupsicle.