As a pup, my first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind and got canned.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried working in a donut shop but I soon tired of the hole business.

I made calendars but my days were numbered.

I tried to be a tailor but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.

I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered

In my prime, I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber but I just couldn’t cut it.

I was a pilot but tended to wing it, and I didn’t have the right altitude.

I tried selling velcro but I couldn’t stick with it.

I tried my hand as a tennis pro but it wasn’t my racket. I was high strung.

I became a baker but it wasn’t a cakewalk and I didn’t make enough dough.

I was a masseur for a while but I rubbed people the wrong way.

I got a good job working for a pool maintenance company but it was draining.

I became a personal trainer in a gym but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

I was an electrician but I found the work shocking and they discharged me.

As a farmer I wasn’t outstanding in my field.

My job as an elevator operator had its ups and downs and I got the shaft.

I worked in a shoe factory but they thought I was a loafer and I got the boot.

So I’ve retired and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!

Got a joke? Please email it to my editor at JerryBellune@yahoo.com