Questions You Never Wanted to Ask

Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station! Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: A taxi driver. Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? A: LMAYO Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A: a thesaurus. Q: How do you shoot a killer bee? A: With a bee bee gun. Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream. Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? A: Clean Jokes! Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: “Where’s Popcorn?” Q: What do you call sad coffee? A: Despresso. Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it! Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with delight! Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A: A stamp. Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? A: Nobody nose. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: Because it had a virus! Q: Why did the giraffe get bad grades? A: He had his head in the clouds. Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A: A penny. Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh? A: With ten-tickles Q: Why are pirates called pirates? A: Cause they arrrrr. Q: What is the tallest building in the world? A: The library! It has the most stories! Q: What’s the first bet that most people make in their lives? A: the alpha bet Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers! Q: How do you organize a space party? A: You planet! Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner? A: Man, that hit the “spot.” Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer! Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? A: Instagram. Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? A: Because it was not peeling well Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years! Q: What belongs to you but others use more? A: Your name Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A: He wanted cold hard cash! Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? A: Sunday, of course! Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog? A: Toad. Q: What bow can’t be tied? A: A rainbow! Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A: A Yamahahaha Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: Spring time. Q: Where did the computer go to dance? A: To a disc-o. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”. Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: To get a tweetment. Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn’t control her pupils. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A: A Clausterphobic Q: What three candies can you find in every school? A: Nerds, Dum-Dums, and Smarties. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head!