A little pitiful New Year’s humor. Don’t blame me Blame my writers.

Henry’s wife told him, “I dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?”

Henry replied, “Aha, you’ll know tonight!”

At midnight, Henry handed her a small gift-wrapped present. Excited, she opened it and was even more surprised. It was a book titled The Meaning of Dreams.

Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Razor. Razor who? Razor glass and toast to a happy new year.

What’s the easiest way to keep your New Year’s resolution to read more? Watch TV with subtitles.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.

Optimists stay up to midnight to see 2021 in. Pessimists stay up to make sure 2020 leaves.

Alfred had too much to drink and decided to walk home on New Year’s Eve.

A policeman asked where he was going.

“I’m on my way to a lecture,” Henry replied.

The policeman scoffed, “Who gives lectures on New Year’s Eve?”

Henry replied: “My wife.”

Why is partying in Times Square overrated? Because they drop the ball.

What do you call someone who says they know all the words to “Auld Lang Syne?” A liar.

Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve? For Old Fangs Time.

Got a clean joke? Please send it to my editor JerryBellune@yahoo.com