My friend Tru Haynes kindly sent along these knee slappers to tickle you.

A woman invited friends over for dinner. At the table, she asked her 6 year old daughter to say the blessing.

“I don’t know what to say” the little girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy saying,”

The little girl bowed her head and prayed, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner!”

My 12 year old granddaughter is really enjoying her new cell phone and the responsibilities that come with it. She shared some good news with me, that Verizon thinks she’s an amazing customer.

I asked, “how do you know that?”

She said the lady called and told me I have an OUTSTANDING balance!

How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the “paws” button!

Why was the tomato red Because he saw the “salad dressing!” (Don’t stop me now guys, I’m on a roll!)

Why does Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they are Santa’s “star bucks!”

Why is nobody friends with Dracula? Because he’ a real “pain in the neck!”

In honor of football season getting underway:

Why should you serve a Gamecock football team soup in a plate?

Because if you give them a bowl, they will lose it.

A fan takes his girlfriend to a football game. After th game, he asks if she had a good time.

She replies, “That was fun, but I don’t understand why they do all of that for only 25 cents.”

The puzzled fan asks “What do you mean?”

She replies, “The game started with a coin toss, and afterward they just ran around hitting each other screaming get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!”

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

Which player wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.

Where do football players dance?

At a foot ball.

Why aren’t you laughing?

Got a joke? Please email it to my editor at JerryBellune@yahoo.com