Things are not always as they appear.

This is true of people as well.

Hypocrisy is defined as “the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform.”

In regards to family members, hypocrisy means, “Everybody thinks dad is the kindest man, but they don’t know how he acts at home.”

I grew up as a PK “preacher’s kid.”

The greatest example of a hypocrite would be a preacher who acts one way in the pulpit and another way at home.

The older I became, the more I appreciated the consistency of the life my father displayed no matter where he was.

However, the world is filled with many Oscar-worthy actors.

Some can turn on the charm in an instant as a thermostat reacts to the temperature around it.

They seem to have a built-in radar that detects people who must only see the good Dr. Jekyll.

But around family members, the evil Mr. Hyde is yelling and slamming doors.

Why is it that we can be so ugly around the very ones we would say we love the most?

I submit that if you are frequently and effectively presenting a certain persona when you are around select people, you belong in the theater.

The kind of person we present naturally when we are at home, letting down our guard is the reality of who we are.

I know of an elderly woman who passed away unexpectedly.

Her only son lived in another state and when he came to settle her earthly affairs he asked me, “What was my mom like?”

I only knew her as a minister, but I said, “Oh, she was so kind and appreciative of everything.”

He said, “I don’t remember the last time she said a kind word to me.”

His words broke my heart as I realized she had presented a certain image to outsiders, but her family only saw selfishness and ingratitude.

If you want to know the truth about the kind of person you are, ask your family, not the people you want to impress.

Next week: How does humor make things better?

Dan Williams is the senior adult pastor at Lexington Baptist Church.