A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a picture of the Holy family. After the pictures were brought to her, she saw that some of the youngsters had drawn the conventional pictures—the Holy family and the manger, the Holy family riding on the mule, etc.

But she called up one little boy to explain his drawing, which showed an airplane with four heads sticking out of the plane windows.

She said, “I can understand that you drew the three heads to show Joseph, Mary and Jesus. But who’s the fourth head?”

“Oh,” answered the boy, “that’s Pontius the pilot.”

‘How do you know your family was poor?”

“Every time I passed someone in town, they would say, “There goes Joe. His poor family!”

A man sought medical aid because he had popped eyes and a ringing in his ears. A doctor looked him over and suggested removal of his tonsils. The operation resulted in no improvement, so the patient consulted another doctor, who suggested the removal of his teeth. The teeth were extracted, but still the man’s eyes popped and the ringing his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, “You’ve got six months to live.” In that event, the doomed man decided he would treat himself right while he could. He bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur, and asked the best tailor in town to make him 30 suits, and decided even his shirts should be made to order.

“Okay,” said the shirtmaker, “let’s get your measurements. Hmm, 35 sleeve, 16 collar—”

“Fifteen,” said the man.

“Sixteen collar,” the shirtmaker repeated, measuring again.

“But I’ve always worn a 15 collar,” said the man.

“Listen,” the shirtmaker said, “I’m warning you. You keep on wearing a 15 collar, and your eyes will pop and you’ll have a ringing in your ears.”

A woman offered a brand-new Porsche for sale for the price of $10. A man answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving.

“What’s the gimmick?” he inquired.

“No gimmick,” the woman answered. “My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and money go to his secretary.”

“If you’re such a good fortune teller, you should be able to tell me the score of tonight’s basketball game before the game starts.”

“Before the game starts, the score will be nothing to nothing.”

“The man who married my mother got a prize.”

“What was it?”

Few of us can stand prosperity—another man’s, I mean.

A farmer was in town at noon and went into a restaurant for a hamburger and french fries. When he was served, he quietly bowed his head and gave the Lord thanks for his food.

Some tough-looking fellows at the next table saw him and thought they would give him a hard time. One of them called out, “Hey, Farmer, does everyone do that where you live?”

“No, Son,” answered the farmer, “the pigs and donkeys don’t.”

Woman: One of your bees just stung me. I want you to do something about it.

Beekeeper: Certainly, Madame. Just show me which bee it was and I’ll have it punished.

Have a happy new year!