Q: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A: A sour puss! Q: What kind of flower doesn’t sleep at night? A: The Day-zzz Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It’s easier than walking! Q: Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went around biting people’s arms off? A: It was a vicious cycle. Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? Q: Why does a hummingbird hum? A: It doesn’t know the words! Q: What did one plate say to the other? A: Dinners on me Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? A: Because they dropped out of school! Q: What goes up and down but doesn’t move? A: The temperature! Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? A: Neither, they both weigh a ton! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn’t gotten all the hair off her tongue. Q: What has one horn and gives milk A: A milk truck. Q: Where do bulls get their messages? A: On a bulletin board. Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping? A: They CHARGE! Q: What do you call a house that likes food? A: a Condoment! Q: What runs but can’t walk? A: The faucet! Q: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? A: A water bed! Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? A: Firecrackers! Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: Because he took a short cut. Q: Where do boats go when they get sick? A: The dock Q: What do you call leftover aliens? A: Extra Terrestrials. Q: What’s taken before you get it? A: Your picture. Q: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: You can roast beef, but you can’t pea soup! Q: What concert costs 45 cents? A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback. Q: Can February March? A: No. But April May. Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet. Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist? A: To get a root canal. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! Q: Why was the broom late? A: It over swept! Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar? A: It has more dates. Q: What caused the airline to go bankrupt? A: Runway inflation. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack? A: An abdominal snowman. Q: Did you hear the joke about the germ? A: Never mind. I don’t want to spread it around Q: What do you call a person that chops up cereal. A: a cereal killer. Q: What do you call a crushed angle? A: a rectangle Q: Who do fish always know how much they weigh? A: Because they have their own scales. Q: Why didn’t the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? A: because it was rated arrrrr