Below is real letter sent to Barclays Bank customers. We thought you might get a kick out of it. It was shared in a Malwarebytes Newsletter.

Dear costumer,

Many of our bank costumers have reported that their debit cards have caught fire while they are in wallets and purses, and so as a precushion we are issuing an URGENT safety recall. This is a matter of the uppermost emergency as your card could create a pocket fire at any given moment, burning your legs and stomach terribly. This is because of a fault in the factory process at our debit card factory in Molton Keynes.

Therefore, for your own safety and verification, please complete the bottom of this form, and return it with your debit card to the safety manager at the following address:

Mr Smith

Barclays Debit Card Factory

187 Bangalore Lane

Bangalore

India

8NG466271

The letter then asks the costumer to fill out his name, address and PIN number, and ends with…

IMPORTANT: The PIN number is for verification porpuses only and will destroyed immediately upon a rival. Your private details will not be compromised at any time.

Should any of our readers be concerned about mailing their debit cards to India, please feel free to send your card and information to the Chronicle as we are fully protected from exploding debit cards. And I could use a new supply of dog biscuits!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, “Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, “That’s horrible!” Confused, he replies, “Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.” After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”

Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book? A: A crayon-berry

Q: What do you call a magician on a plane? A: A flying sorcerer!

Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: He wanted to get to the bottom.

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A: A Mer-Maid

Q: When’s the best time to go to the dentist? A: Tooth-hurty

Q: What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? A: I wanna get a head!

Q: Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? A: It was quite an oar deal.

Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? A: Because he wanted to work over-time!

Q: Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? A: Because it runs through your jeans.

Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? A: Urgent Tina

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

Q: When do you stop at green and go at red? A: When you’re eating a watermelon!

Q: What did the tailor think of her new job? A: It was sew sew.