My friend John Parrish sent these knee-slappers from church bulletins and announcements to make your day and mine.

Sunday’s sermon will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early to hear our choir practice.

8 new choir robes are needed due to several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The church is planning host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5 pm - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the BS is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast.