Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Are you shy and uncomfortable around strangers. Would you rather die than make a public presentation?

Or are you the opposite? You go to a party and take energy from others?

Do you stride onto the platform, getting pumped by the response of your audience?

Most of us have twin personalities inside us. The extrovert inside embraces the crowd. The introvert would rather be hom reading a book or watching TV.

Some of us are recovering introverts. Like alcoholics determined to change their lives, recovering introverts study extroverts, see what they do and put it on lik a hair shirt. They are determined to quit being wilting wallflowers.

OUR FRIEND John Carleton, a recovering introvert, says the outstanding extroverts he’s known were once introverted.

You might not realize it when you see them stalking the stage at a seminar, or yukking it up at the bar with strangers the only met minutes ago.

They’re mimicking extrovert behavior. They learned it from true extroverts. It’s how they survived so long in a world populated by a majority of extroverts.

HERE’S JOHN’S quick test: Go to a party. Have fun. Come home. If you’re still pumped, you’re likely an extrovert. You enjoyed yourself, made new friends, got into the groove of being aroun a crowd, noise and things happening.

If you’re exhausted from dealing with all those people, you’re probably an introvert. You may have had a good time but it sapped all your energy. Now you need space and time to recover.

Most of us are a little of both, depending on the situation. Outgoing most of the time, a little shy in certain situations.

A PERSONAL note: I was invited to a Christmas party years ago and found no one I knew in the crowded room but the host who was busy greeting other guests.

I found an empty table and sat down, wondering why I was feeling so shy.

I’ve since figured it out. The others apparently knew each other. They were standing together in little groups chatting.

That made me feel intrusive if I stuck my nose uninvited into such groups.

If I had been there for a purpose, to give a speech or serve as greeter at the door, it would have been different.

Since then, if I’m alone, I become the unofficial greeter at the door. If someone is with me, I give them my full attention.

AROUND STRANGERS I am usually what Pat Conroy called “obnoxiously friendly.”

My wife says I interview waiters and waitresses, shop keeps, bartenders, people standing in line, anyone who comes within a few feet. She’s right. That’s what I do for a living – interview people.

Classic introverts, John says, have to gea up to be around other people

“Small talk or chitchat melts our brains.” “Still, it’s an advantage for a writer.” “Introversion comes from being the outsider. We study the extrovert. Empathy becomes a survival tool, as we figure out how gregarious folks get along with each other.

“Being introverted, you have an innate sense of how to climb into other people’s heads and see what makes them tick.”

Next: The success sequence

An offer for you

Jerry Bellune’s new $9.99 digital book, “The Art of Compelling Writing,” is available now at Amazon.com. Chronicle readers can get a copy for $4.99 by emailing him at JerryBellune@yahoo.com