Telling children that strangers can be dangerous has not worked.

Up to 90% of sexually abused children know the perpetrators, and 68% are abused by a family member, according to www.dosomething.org .

Safely Ever After founder Patti Fitzgerald has come up with a “tricky people” principle.

“A tricky person can be someone you know or don’t know, but someone who breaks a safety rule or asks you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable,” she said.

She suggests parents teach kids what is okay and not okay, and anyone who breaks those rules is a “tricky person.”

Simple safety rules

• Kids need to know they are the boss of their private parts.

• There should be no secrets from mom and dad. Check with them first if someone asks something of you.

• Fitzgerald recommends role-playing to teach kids what to do and what not to do.

• Parents need to notice who is paying attention to their kids, especially if they are adults.

Trust your instincts

Fitzgerald says safe adults, especially ones who work with your kids, don’t look for alone time for your kids.

“My mother asking to take my daughter to the movies, that makes sense. A math teacher asking to take my daughter to the movies doesn’t make sense.”

Her website, www.safelyeverafter.com has information on red flags for parents.

Make sure kids are always in supervised situations with trustworthy adults.

Pedophiles groom their victims. Defendinnocence. org has a list of behaviors they use, such as spending a lot of time with children and showering them with gifts and attention.

They use fear, guilt and threats on victims to keep their abuse a secret.

Wade Mullen, a professor at Capitol Seminary, says the sexual abuse motive is often motivated by a desire for power over a person.

“Abusers seek to possess their victims,” said Mullen.

Prevention and education can save a child. Visit www.Stopitnow.org for information to help keep our children safe.

Where to turn for help

• Childhelp USA 24-hour National Child Abuse Hotline 800-4-A-CHILD, www. childhelp.org

• National Children’s Alliance 800-239-9950, www.nationalchildrensalliance.org

• Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) 800-656-HOPE, www.rainn.org