the editor talks with you

Jill Konrath was standing on a ledge, facing a rock wall. The path ended there. She couldn’t go any higher. Looking down over her right shoulder, she saw a bottomless pit that she was supposed to descend. Her stomach was churning. Her head was spinning. Fear owned her. She was at its mercy. How often in your life have you faced this kind of gut-wrenching fear? For me, it started with school yard bullies. I had to fight or run. I chose to fight. When I went away to military school, I had to prove myself again. Fight or run. I believed if I ran, I would have to keep running. Standing up for myself, no matter the outcome, was better than that. A bloody nose doesn’t last. Humiliation does.

Jill’s guide came to the rescue. “Lean back, lean back,” Steffan the guide said encouragingly. “Then just start walking down the cliff. One step at a time.” Jill knew he was right. But at that moment, it was impossible believe him. “I can’t,” she said, frozen in sheer terror. Her hands were sweating. Tears streamed down her face. Paralyzed, all she could think was, “Why have you done this? Are you crazy?” Jill hates heights, sheer drop-offs most. That’s why she was there. Not to fall to her doom but to force herself to face fear.

It’s easy to grow complacent, to become less than we are capable of. Trying new things, dangerous things, is risky. That’s how she felt trying to rappel down the cliff but stuck at the top. Steffan took a new tactic. He asked, “Do you have any kids?” She wondered if he was crazy. Why was he asking that while she was petrified? “Yes,” Jill answered. “Two.” “Boys or girls?” he asked. “One of each,” she replied. “How old?” he continued. Miraculously, she began to feel an emotional shift inside. Panic subsided. She was still scared but able to overcome it. She leaned back and rapelled down the cliff. When she reached the bottom, she didn’t feel elation. She was just glad she had done it in spite of her fear.

That morning, she rappelled down more cliffs before they came to where they could follow a path down. Steffan told her his “kid” questions were to snap her back into the real world, not the monstrous one in her mind. It was a highly effective lesson about fear and the power of simply shifting our minds to deal better with life’s challenges. Jill has chosen to live a life of growth. It’s not always easy. And honestly, she says she doesn’t know where she’s headed. “I know it will require me to stretch beyond what I am capable of,” she said. Are you willing to face your fears and stretch yourself? You are more capable than you think you are. Want to share your story with us? Email me at JerryBellune@yahoo.com